As a secondary honor to the past week of Muppet-mania here at the Blixt house, I’m posting a cast list I made last fall to amuse my Goodman cast-mates. So, sit back and enjoy imagining the Muppet Shakespeare Theatre as it presents – MUPPET KING LEAR!!
- KING LEAR – Waldorf (from the balcony)
- FRANCE – Lew Zeeland (the boomerang-fish guy)
- BURGUNDY – Link Hogthrob
- CORNWALL – Animal
- ALBANY – Fozzie Bear
- KENT – Rowlf the Dog
- GLOUCESTER – Sam the American Eagle
- EDGAR – Kermit the Frog
- EDMUND – The Great Gonzo
- FOOL – Statler (from the balcony)
- GONERIL – Miss Piggy
- REGAN – Janice
- CORDELIA – Camilla the Chicken
- OSWALD – Beaker
- CURAN – Rizzo the Rat
- Lear’s Knight – Sweetums
- Old Man – Pops the Doorman
- Doctor – Dr. Bunsen Honeydew
- Cornwall’s Man – Robin the Frog (Kermit’s Nephew)
- Captain Hark – Pepe the King Prawn
- Servants to Cornwall – Swedish Chef, Uncle Deadly
Messenger – Scooter - Ensemble: Beauregard, Mahna Mahna, Mary Louise, Zelda Rose, Wayne, Wanda
You have to have the right (or wrong) sense of humor for this, but try to imagine the highlights:
1 – Camilla the Chicken’s seeming rejection of Waldorf, her father, for which he banishes her:
- Waldorf: What can you say to draw a third more opulant than your sisters’? Speak?
- Camilla: Bwawk bwak.
- Waldorf: Nothing?
- Camilla: Bwawk bwak.
- Waldorf: Better thou hadst not been hatched, than not to have pleased me better!
2 – Rowlf the Dog beating Beaker for insulting the king, and then being stocked (leashed) for his pains:
- Rowlf: Fellow, I know thee.
- Beaker: Me me?
- Rowlf: Thou art a knave, a rascal, an eater of broken meats; a base, proud, shallow, beggerly, lily-livered whoseson glassgazing rogue! A begger, coward, pander, and the son and heir to a mongerl bitch!
- Beaker: Me me me mememe!
3 – Animal tearing out Sam the Eagle’s eye, then being stopped by Kermit’s nephew Robin:
- Robin: Hold your hand my lord! Better service have I never done you than now to bid you hold!
- Animal: Vill-ain! Vill-ain!
- Robin: Come on then, and take the chance of anger! (they fight, stab each other)
- Animal: Me am hurt?
- Robin: (to Sam) My lord, you have one eye left to see some mischief on him! (dies)
- Animal: No see more! Out, vile Jell-o! (tears out Sam’s other eye)
- Sam: Oh cruel! Oh, ye gods!
4 – Janice and Miss Piggy’s affairs with Gonzo, for which they murder each other;
5 – Waldorf heckling the storm ("Oh, you call that blowing?!"), then stripping naked and running around like the madman he has become;
6 – Gonzo ordering Pepe to murder Camilla (Pepe: I am not a horse, okay! If it be man’s work, I’ll get it done, okay!);
7 – Kermit pretending to be mad, then facing off against his brother Gonzo in a final swordfight.
Promising, don’t you think? Of course the Muppet writers would have much more fun than I am here in this quickie post. So let’s begin a lobby, shall we? Who wants ABC and Disney to produce a Muppet Shakespeare play?
DB
