Okay, I have a dark turn of mind. I’m aware of this, and most often I can keep it away from the brighter parts of my life.

But today I am convinced that the evil Big Blue Jet is controlled by Annie, the Little Einstein.

My son Dash adores two TV shows – the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, and Little Einsteins. And before someone out there gets their knickers in a twist, no, it’s not Baby Einsteins. These are four little kids and their big red rocket (called Rocket) going off to have adventures. There’s always a featured piece of music and a featured work of visual art, and they travel the world having silly "missions." It’s not terrible. With one exception, which I will get to in a moment.

However, the creators must have decided there wasn’t enough drama. Just as Mickey Mouse needs Peg-Leg Pete to hassle him, so the Einsteins needed some nemesis, some evil force that was always playing dirty tricks and messing up the Einsteins’ lives. They created the anti-Rocket, Big Jet. Rocket is curvy and red, so Jet is angular and blue.

Now, we never see if anyone’s flying Big Blue Jet (tinted glass). But my wife turned to me about a month back and said, "You know there are four evil children aboard. Evil genius children. Probably call themselves The Little Oppenheimers."

I laughed, but it got me thinking about the stories in a way that they were not meant to be thought about. How does Big Blue Jet always know what the Einsteins are up to? How does it know the exact route they’re taking BEFORE they get there? Well, if there are four evil geniuses, maybe they could figure out the route. Maybe they’re bugging the Einstein’s HQ.

But this morning there was an act of sabotage on Rocket. His flight button was broken, just before the big race. And it dawned on me, "This has to be an inside job."

Now, there are four Little Einsteins. Leo is the leader, and he conducts the music. Then there’s Quincy, who plays the instruments, and June, who dances. Finally, there’s Leo’s little sister Annie, who sings.

I have long held that Annie is the Einstein I’d like to vote off the Rocket. Her little made-up tunes to classical music are insipid. But worse, she’s not the best singer of the group! The other Einsteins are far better than Annie, who is always a half-step flat. Naturally, Annie is Dash’s favorite, prompting his mother to implore him, "Please, honey, don’t ever date an Annie."

This morning I realized that Annie’s bad singing is a deliberate attempt to sabotage the Einsteins reputations. And she must be the one behind the destruction of Rocket’s ability to fly.

Which means that Annie is in league with Big Blue Jet. The world is in grave peril. Spread the news. I only hope we’re not too late…