I've been busy working on the new novel, and have again been remiss in posting. But this one has me irked. This is a good story. Or rather, a bad one, that I feel the need to comment upon. So, without using names, here 'tis:

About five months back I had an interview for a show that would go up in Austria, then come back to Chicago. It would be eight months of my life, but a good paycheck and a subject I enjoyed. So I went in to meet with the director. This was not an audition, per se, but rather a chance for the director to lay out her vision and to see if I wanted to be a part of it.

We chatted about the show, then she started asking questions. I won't go into the details of her process, it's very European. But I said one of the things I bring to a show is my skill at stage combat.

"Stage combat is shit," she replied.

"Really?"I said, trying not to go on the defensive. "There's a lot of swordplay in this show. What do you do?"

"We fight! We fight! No fake stuff, that is so American. We fight. For real!"

"No, I don't think you do," I said. "Unless you replace actors every night."

But she insisted that stage combat was shit, and that in Europe they all did things better because they really fought.

I didn't get called in for an audition, which made me a little sad and very relieved at the same time. We clearly were not on the same page, though I did recommend several actors to her that I thought would be great for her process. There's a lot to be said for the way she does things. But as an actor with fight training, I think I might have gone mad. You don't just pick up a sword and fight every night. Combat on stage is choreography. There's a reason Shakespeare's fight master was also his dance master. Your partner – not opponent, partner! – needs to know where you're attacking every night. Adrenaline is the enemy. I've seen people stabbed in the eye. You don't fool around with weapons onstage.

Which brings us to today's news that an actor in that director's current show in Austria has stabbed himself in the throat when his prop knife was swapped with a real one.

He's alive, and back onstage, thank heavens. The police are investigating if this was an accident or a deliberate substitution. But none of that is to the point. Because a trained combatant would not have injured himself in the first place. What is he doing, actually dragging his prop blade across his throat every night? Isn't the logical outcome of that obvious? YOU DON'T ACTUALLY STAB OR CUT YOURSELF, EVEN WITH PROP BLADES! There are a hundred ways to fake it, to make it look more real than real, without endangering the artist. Prop blades can still hurt, or even cut.

In the end, the producers are at fault here, for not ensuring the safety of their actor. The knife-switch notwithstanding, that blade should not have been in a position to draw blood from his throat.

I'm feeling a sick sort of vindication today that I wish was unneccessary. While I think that suffering can often lead to great art, I think suffering for your art is foolish, and endangering yourself on a nightly basis for an audience is ridiculous.

But maybe I'm just not European enough.