Watching the latest Democratic debate, a crazy thing happened to me. Someone asked me how the debate was going, and I said, “It’s a shit show.” Which immediately made me think of this song from Rachel Bloom’s amazing, criminally-underwatched show “Crazy Ex-Girlfriend.”

After that, I couldn’t stop hearing her music in place of the candidate’s voices. So, in that spirit, I present each candidate’s closing argument, in song.

Bernie Sanders:

Joe Biden:

Pete Buttigieg:

Amy Klobuchar:

Mike Bloomberg:

And we’ll close with my chosen candidate, Elizabeth Warren:

Happy Super Tuesday, y’all! Whoever you prefer, make sure you vote! Turnout is key to ensuring democracy thrives! (And if you’re undecided, give Warren another look. Trust me, she’s impressive as hell, without the baggage of other candidates, and can mop the floor with Trump in a debate).